Baja blast soda code#

This is the Gatsby-esque flickering light of capitalist aspiration that drives America the shine of the empire is dimmer the closer you get to it. Dew-S-A is void of sugar and resembles the pale glow of a half-baked idea-one that inexplicably made it into production.

Baja blast soda code#

Code Red is an elite Dew flavor brought down by the mediocrity of White Out and Voltage. Drinking this is like drinking every Twitter thread re-litigating 2016-utter misery that feels longer than it actually is. Get it? Unfortunately, combining these flavors results in absolute trash (which happens to be a strange purple color). At least it’s unique? Which neither ICE nor Cherry ICE can claim…ĭew-S-A was a limited-edition drink from 2016 combining Code Red, White Out, and Voltage: red, white, and blue. It’s advertised as a far more appealing synthesis of peach and honey. The weird, somewhat herbal flavor is as confusing as the name, and lies somewhere between Jägermeister and fake cinnamon. Still, it’s less of a soda and more like the runoff of a broken slushie machine. ICE doesn’t even give you that monstrous pleasure it’s worse than useless.Ī smidge of cherry flavor adds a bit of much-needed definition to ICE. You’re supposed to look at a Dew bottle and feel a twinge of regret every gulp as the brightly colored monstrosity before you diminishes in grandeur, leaving behind a plastic husk-the bullet casings of your health’s demise. Dew is supposed to be defiantly neon, every sip a rush of sugar bros yelling “ARE YOU TRIGGERED” at your tastebuds. Not only is it the most unoriginal and worst-tasting Dew, but the fact that they tried to Crystal Pepsi this is the most insulting thing of all. They added caffeine to deadstock Sierra Mist. Also, this list doesn’t include the Dew Energy drinks, because 1) energy drinks are a whole different thing from sodas and 2) in researching this piece, it’ll be amazing if I make it one second past age 37.) However, the below is still 100-percent correct given what’s included. So if you’re a Pitch Black II or Green Label stan looking for validation, I can’t give you that. (While this is a fairly comprehensive list, it is by no means complete, because there are some Dew flavors I simply never got around to. My blood will become dangerously acidic from drinking all this Dew, and since I’m not a xenomorph, my body will burn and crumble. I’ve put my health on the line to prove once and for all which Dews exemplify the best of us and are a blight on our existence. I informally shared the list with friends on social media, and I received a more enthusiastic response than to any serious music criticism I’ve written.

About a year ago, probably when I was blowing off a deadline, I decided to rank every Dew flavor. But ultimately, some Dew flavors are better than others.